UK farmer co-op posts loss as dairy crisis deepens


LONDON (Reuters) – The country’s largest dairy farmer co-operative reported a loss for the 2008/09 financial year on Friday and said it had dipped into reserves to shelter members from a market downturn.

First Milk, based in Paisley, Scotland, reported an after-tax loss of 7.1 million pounds for the year ended March 31, with group turnover declining by three percent to 582 million pounds.

The company cited a decrease in returns for milk powder, cheese and whey in the second half of the year. read more of the article here

Support The British Royal Legion

A Poppy for your mobile

The ever-popular Poppy Download returns for this year’s Poppy Appeal. Make a £1.50 donation using your mobile phone by texting Poppy to 80848, of which 90p goes to the Poppy Appeal (excluding Virgin), and you’ll receive a poppy for your mobile phone wallpaper. Just text POPPY to 80848. Tell your friends!

You can also make a donation via mobile internet at, with a choice of £1.50, £3.00, £5.00 and £10.00 donations with an option to add Gift Aid.

Service provided by The Royal British Legion, Customer Service, 0844 884 5050. By using this service you agree that we may contact you for future campaigns, unless you send STOP to 80848. Suitable for WAP enabled phones only. Not available on i-phones.


Show your support by adding a message of support to the bottom of each email you send. This year individuals as well as companies can register. Visit

Buy The X Factor Finalists’ Hero single

The 12 finalists of the popular TV programme The X Factor have produced a cover version of Mariah Carey’s 1993 hit Hero and proceeds from its sale will be divided equally between Help for Heroes and the Poppy Appeal. So look for a copy in your nearest Woolworth, Tesco, Asda or Sainsbury’s, as well as music retailers such as Zavvi and HMV or order the single online.

Auctionair online auction room

Bidding for the specially designed Poppy Brooches has closed but there are other bargains available. The Royal British Legion Auction Room, operated by Auctionair, has a hand picked selection of items and £1 for every bid is donated to the Poppy Appeal.

Poppy Bond – save and donate

Coventry Building Society has teamed up with the Poppy Appeal to bring you a great way of earning interest on your savings, while at the same time helping current and former members of Britain’s Armed Forces and their dependants. When you open your Poppy Bond everyone benefits. You’ll receive a competitive rate of 6.25% AER/gross pa fixed until 31 December 2009 and the Coventry will make a donation equal to 0.25% of the balances invested direct to the Poppy Appeal. This donation is in addition to the interest you’ll earn. So, for example, if you invest £20,000, we’ll make a donation of £50. Apply for a Poppy Bond now.

Give a virtual poppy on Facebook

Raise awareness of the Poppy Appeal by giving poppies to your Facebook friends. You can add the application to your own Facebook profile by visiting:

Make a Donation

Buy a poppy from a Poppy Collector during the Remembrance period or make a donation to the Poppy Appeal online. Click here for more details.

Support our Campaign

The Royal British Legion is calling on Government to increase payments to elderly people below the poverty line. Find out how you can help at

Give your Time

Become a Poppy Collector, a volunteer caseworker, a hospital/housebound visitor or participate in fundraising events. Click here to find out more.

New Events


Sunday 20th July 2008

Finlaystone Country Estate

Teddy Bears’ Picnic & Dolls’ Tea Party 1.30pm onwards

Bring teddy or dolly and a picnic for the special tea party.  Fun and games for all with puppet and magic shows

For more information call 01475-540505 or email

Read more

a wee joke


Mechanic vs. Pilot

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,”
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some
actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a P)
and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last………………

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Glesga Drunk


A wee joke sent to me today..

The Glasgow, or more properly “Glesga”, dialect is known to be
extremely concise, as so much can be said in so few words.

Consider for example, this exchange between a car-driver, and the
police officer who pulled him over.

Interpretation is provided inside the brackets.

Police officer: Yaw rite? (Are you feeling ill?)

Driver: ‘maw rite. (I’m feeling exceptionally well, thank you)

Yeshoor? (Are you entirely certain of that fact?)

Aye. (Yes)

Zisyoors? (Are you the registered owner of this vehicle?)

Zwitmine? (Which vehicle are you referring to?)

Ris caur (The automobile in which you are presently seated)

Sibrurnlaws (Actually, it belongs to my sister’s husband)

Wers heeren? (Can you tell me where he can be located?)

Raboozers. (He is a guest of the local hostelry.)

Yebeen garglin’. (Have you partaken of any alcoholic beverages, in the
recent past?)

Jissa cupple. (I have consumed only one or two small cocktails, prior
to dinner.)

Yur stoatin’. (It is my considered opinion that you are considerably
under the influence of alcohol.)

Naw’mno’ (I beg to differ.)

Ye urstoatin’. (I believe that my initial observation is correct and
that you are being somewhat deceitful.)

Umnoe. (I swear that I am being entirely truthful.)

Geezyer licence. (Would you be kind enough to allow me to inspect your
driver’s licence?)

‘Vno Goatwan. (I am not in possession of such a document.)

Geroot racaur. (Kindly remove yourself from the automobile.)

Whiffur? (By what legal right do you make this request?)

‘Mapolis. (I am a member of the local constabulary.)

Ommigoad. (I call upon the Supreme Being, witness this moment of
extreme duress.)

Geroot Ren. (Will you now please extricate yourself from your position
behind the steering wheel.

Awrite, ‘mcomin’ (I am proceeding to do so with all possible speed.)

Blawris up. (Are you familiar with the breathalyser test?.)

‘Mgonny Besik. (I believe that I am about to be violently ill.)

Noanme Yurno. (Please exercise a great deal of caution as to the
direction your involuntary emission takes.)

‘Mawrite Noo. (Having ridden my digestive tract of an accumulation of
nausea-inducing substances, I now feel better.)

Getna Paddywagon. (Please be kind enough to accept a short ride in the
humble vehicle provided for my use by the local police.)

Wer Wigaun? (May I be so forward as to make an enquiry as to our
ultimate destination?)

Ra Jile. (To my headquarters, where you will be incarcerated.)

Ohmigoad, rawife’ll murdermie. (Once again I call upon the Supreme
Being to witness this unfortunate turn of events. Incidentally, I must
inform you that my spouse will take my life, illegally.)

Getna Wagon. (May I offer you my assistance in climbing into the back
of my vehicle.)

Aw, Neveragain. Ratsit furme. (I have now learned a valuable lesson,
and I hereby declare total abstinence from all alcoholic beverages
hence forth.)